HOW DO YOU LEAVE YOUR BEST FRIEND????

I leave for the Biggest Looser Resort in 13 days, this is the part where all my emotions are going crazy. I'm a paid Firefighter that works 48 hrs straight, I have to leave my son (Best Friend) for two days, I never could imagine not being around him much longer then that, in 13 days I must say C-ya later to my son for a Month, I understand this is for the best, I understand this is going to gain that many more years for me to be in his life, but at the end of the day I'm still leaving him for a Month. Since the day Ive received that phone call from BL, only thing I can think about is leaving my son. Nights are the worst for me right now, especially when everyone is sleeping, all i can do is think about leaving my son for a Month. I never cry, can't tell you the amount of nights Ive set in my office at work with tears in my eyes, the nights in bed, or the nights in my chair. This is going to be the hardest thing Ive had to do, me and my son are very close, after all ....ask him who is best friend is???? He will tell you "Daddy" with a smile from ear to ear.

Love all the nice things everyone says to me about how to deal with this, but until you actually have to do it, people don't understand just how hard it is. Not trying to be mean, but talk is cheap ... saying it and doing it is very different. Thank you for technology now days, I can at least face time with him !!! On a bad note, California is three hours behind, however Ive learned nothing is easy in life.

I have been working on letters for my son, have two finished and going to work on the third tonight .... have little things hidden around the house for him to go find after reading them, working on a few videos as well. I can tell you one thing, writing these letters are very hard, when I thought of this idea I never thought it was going to be so hard, I'm sure before the end of this blog my key board will be wet.

A few people have asked me at times what's wrong with me, if you no me I'm one of a kind, LOL!!!! I'm usually going 100 miles an hour, laughing, jokes, are messing with someone if at work (Love you guys) ... so if you see me being hush hush, most ask me what's wrong???? Well, most of the time I say nothing that I'm just tired or some type of excuse. The truth is .... I'm pissed at myself for letting me get to this point where I have to leave my son for a Month. Don't get me wrong, I'm truly blessed for getting this opportunity from the BL to save my own life. What most people don't no is that this is round 2 for me, I lost almost 300 pounds several years ago, I was at a healthy 240 pounds and on top of the world. I tell you one thing, it felt like it was all back in a blink of a eye. Let me give anyone reading this some advise, it's twice as hard the second time around and gets much harder as you get older. I'm a young hot sexy 34 (LOL), but I still have my problems that hold me back, everything aces and hurts, my knees are always hurting along with my back. Most of this is from the weight but some is old age along with a knee surgery. I just keep telling myself "Pain is temporary .... Pride is forever" !!!!

This blog is dedicated to my son Mason Wells, I want to leave a few words to my son aka best friend .....

Mason, I just want to say thanks for saving my life, because you've made me see the importance of life.You've open my eyes and made me want to be the best father in the world. Never did i think something so small could make such an impact on me until Mason was born on 10-24-06. Not a greater feeling in the world then being a father, now I see why my father did so much for me growing up, the love he gave me, just being my best friend. Ive become the man I am today because of my father, proud to call him my role model/hero. If I can give my son half of what my father did for me, he will grow up to be just like his father and pass on this special love to his children.
Mason,  Daddy loves you more then anything in life !!!!! I promise you daddy will be thinking of you every day while I'm kicking ass in California.

DADDY LOVES YOU MASON !!!!!